03 Feb The one reason why you are not being the very best person you can be
I have been absent from this space for a while now. And through this absence I have gone through a ray of emotions, one in particular, is frustration.
The feeling of frustration has been ever present, because I felt out of alignment, out of flow, disappointed that my energy had just all of a sudden ceased. I was out of ideas. Out of spark. Just lost.
Life has been busy.
So it would be easiest to blame my absence on exactly that – being busy. But that does not work with me. Because I believe that if you really want something, you just make it happen. You find the time, the power, the urge, the motivation – whatever it takes to just make that sh*t happen.
So while I pretended I was too busy (I was actually flat out making the administration of our business run smoothly, organising tax returns, insurance, super, and blah blah blah) deep down I knew I was actually hiding behind the “I’m too busy curtain”.
I also knew that I really wanted what I have started. And that is an open, transparent community, where I share our story, my thoughts, my life. That passion was sitting and lurking, but it was really covered by this overwhelming shadow. A shadow of ‘something’, and that ‘something’ was what I needed to nail down and dispel.
And so the Universe aligned.
On a whim I entered a competition. at Adventuring Home You had to write of a time where you have been naked – metaphorically or literally. I wrote a piece in a flash and hit send. To my surprise I won. It was very exciting.
I had $1,000 worth of goodness come my way. Amongst being gifted an assortment of treats, I received four Skype sessions with four amazing women. One of those women was Stephanie Demetrious from Empower Holistic Health. Stephanie offers Skype kinesiology sessions. I wondered how kinesiology would work via Skype, I wondered how Stephanie would ‘feel’ my energy through a computer screen. So there was a part of me that thought that maybe it may not work.
Kinesiology is weird.
You have to be open-minded to gain the benefit from kinesiology. I first went to a session when I was pregnant with Olivia. I needed to rid my fears of birth. And that is exactly what happened in one session, which lead to the ultimate birth. I did find the whole experience odd and I can totally see where sceptics get their fuel from – because tapping elbows, wrists and the heart-centre, while chanting sentences is weird, there’s no doubt about it.
But it worked. So what was it that actually worked? The kinesiology or the power of my mind or both? I don’t know. I will let you be the judge. But in any case, it did in fact work and that’s awesome.
I felt an instant resonance with Stephanie. I found myself being really open and present, pretty much immediately. I knew that the session was my chance to pull myself from the narrow tunnel of disbelief and confusion. So I went in determined and willing.
The session was different to my first experience. Obviously there was no physical contact so I missed out on the taping and chanting this time. Instead, there were visualisations and colours. I jumped into the visualisations letting my mind take me to wherever it wanted to go. There’s a real sense of freedom if you just take those mental barriers down, and let the mind flow.
Stephanie asked me what I wanted to feel. And with that question it just came to me, and the answer was “not guilty”.
You see, we have been busy. Busy making the farm work and making the dream life happen. I think I have seen Farmer Zac for a whole split second over the past year. But that’s not the reason why I faded.
The reason was I felt guilty. I felt guilty indulging in writing when there were wages to be paid and accounts to be reconciled. I felt guilty because Zac was working hard, so how could I take time to write? It’s a common trap.
We are conditioned to work and to work hard – not smarter. We have to break down mental traditions, slide through the mud and come out realising that we don’t have to struggle. Life is in fact awesome, as awesome as you make it. Being guilty for doing the things you love is completely counter-productive and just hopeless. The reality and simple fact is, if you indulge/ partake/ take time to enjoy the things you love, you’re a happier person. And a happier person is a better person.
Are you too busy to exercise or read that book you’ve been dying to read? Or are you too busy to have a hair-cut or visit a friend?
Maybe you need to re-assess that.
Are you really too busy?
Can you in fact bust a move and just go do that thing you’ve been wanting to do? Because really, the world is not going to stop if you give yourself an hour. Or two.
Maybe you, just like me, are not too busy. You just feel guilty for enjoying life. There’s no need in feeling guilty. It’s time to stop that sh*t. Stop the guilt and do what it is you love to do. Giving yourself that time will give you the re-calibration that you need. You’ll gain perspective. You may even gain colour, brightness and trees floating through your heart-centre… Or is that just me? Told ya, let the mind flow and who knows where you’ll end up…..